* You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
* Instant coffee takes too long.
* You chew on other people’s fingernails.
* You answer the door, before people knock.
* You sleep with your eyes open.
* You go to sleep, just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
* You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
* You’re the employee of the month at Starbucks – and you don’t even work there.
* You help your dog chase its tail.
* You lick your coffeepot clean.
* You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
* You’re so wired you pick up FM radio.
* You have a picture of your coffee mug, on your coffee mug.
No Guarantees 