Humour


There is a new movie out called “What Would Jesus Buy?”
Here is a clip of a promotion for the movie as they protest in Starbucks one day..

“Would Jesus buy a $4 latte if the people who raised the coffee only made 40 cents of that $4?”

These and other questions are raised by Rev. Billy during a protest at SXSW 2007 in Austin TX.
The Movie here



We are having some leaking of radiation from the microwave, I think it is not effecting the kids as yet…I think…


Yes, Austin Power has a church, or is that Austin Texas has a Powerhouse church? Or do they have a house church a power…house church???
Check it out. It is true!

Some time ago I blogged about my obsessions to ‘get new stuff’. In fact I often rant about all that. But remember I was all ape about my new Apple Mac? (and here. )Waiting every day for it to arrive and in the middle of it all my new hiking shoes arrived from the states?

Well…
The shoes were too tight…
And the Mac has spent more time in the repair shop than on my lap!

Here is the email I sent to Steve Jobs…yes, I found his email address :)

Dear Mr Jobs
I bought a sweet new Macbook 2 months ago I am a great lover of all things Mac!!

It remains to this day in the repair shop, and I remain frustrated!

The story –
From day one it was having difficulty connecting to my wireless network, thinking it was my modem I bought a new Netgear wireless modem.
No change
Called Apple help line twice and we spent an hour on the phone. At one stage we reset all the settings in the DHCP area only to watch them disappear before my eyes!

Generally speaking this is the go –
After ‘sleep’ and ‘restart’ I am sometimes asked “Your normal network is not available, do you wish to connect to ‘sc*****r‘” (which happens to be my normal network)
Sometimes there are no networks available in the drop down list, and sometimes all but mine are available.

Sometimes I would be in the middle of a session on the net and it would get slower and slower and disconnect.

AIRPORT CARD GETS REPLACED AS IDENTIFIED ISSUE BY APPLE PERTH

The first time I open my MB after the repair the error msg appears.
I narrow this issue down to one consistency;
From startup or restart – no network connecting…then if I put it to sleep and wake it up it connects straight away to my network – every time.

MACHINE BACK TO APPLE SHOP

Whilst in repair shop I illustrate by doing a restart, but it freezes on restart as though I put it to sleep and can only be started with a hard reset by the assistant. (happened in battery and power mode)
You sure have some real issues with this computer” said the assistant. I left it with him again!

10 DAYS LATER

I am rung and told it is finally fixed, it was a third party software issue, so they said.

The moment I turned it on at home the same error msg appeared, no problem I figure as it is adjusting to being moved from the Apple wireless to my house. I do a restart and the machine jams in sleep mode refusing to start backup without a hard reset.
Finally it starts and connects.
I try shutdowns, restarts and sleeps and everything works, again and again and again for 2 hours.

THE I LEFT IT FOR 30 MINUTES SLEEPING

Upon reopening the screen I discovered not only a wireless error but the icon up the top for my wireless had gone altogether!!
No wireless.

I packed it all up into it’s box and took it back in. I demanded a new computer, I just want to do some work!! This has been a VERY unproductive month or more.
But I am told that only one bit of hardware has been replaced (Airport card) and I have to have faults on 4 bits of hardware and have them all replaced before I see a new machine…by that time I have hardly got the machine I paid for 2 months ago! I have a bits and pieces machine.

This is not good enough!

Please someone out there get me a new MacBook!!!!! This is a LEMON!

Scott

Within 12 hours I get a call from Australia Mac head office saying that they had recieved a directive from their international office that I had tried to contact the boss and that Sydney needed to follow me up with VIP care – NOT a new laptop though.

Today they are replacing another piece of hardware as it seems that the 3rd party software theory was not the issue.

In fact the problem was occurring before I loaded any extras onto it.
But I now have someone’s attention in head office so who knows if that will make any difference!

Shoes are still too tight :)
And I still love Apple Macs!

BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

The Routine…
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great.
He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat .

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women…


An amazing elephant story…

Sometimes I like these heartwarming stories, but this one is truly interesting.

In 1986, Dan Harrison (see picture above) was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Dan never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Dan, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Dan couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant. Dan summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Dan’s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.


……………………………….. Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

This is gold! I say, adopt this tune from now on, about time we had some passion in the anthem.

Whatever, I thought it was just a bit different, there is a whole series of them.



More pics of Diesel’s visions of the future here.

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